I have been up around 6am every morning ( okay almost every morning) to do a bible study. One I have joined with some of the most precious ladies. It is a bible study that requires daily attention, one that helps me with my real and personal relationship with God. I have tried diligently to keep up on the daily lessons so as not to fall behind my dear friends.
I am now more than a week behind.
This last week God has had different plans for our intimate meetings.
My relationship with my 15 year old daughter has been on edge. We have both been angry, frustrated and disappointed with each other. " She is a teenager, it is supposed to be a rocky time." I would tell myself. "She is going through a normal stage." "It won't be forever." All these beliefs did not improve our relationship. My stomach was still sick with worry for her, for me, for our family.
God, knowing me so well and caring for me and my family, met me daily for our intimate conversations. For a while, He allowed me to do all the talking. I poured out my hurt, disappointments, frustrations and anxieties to my Lord. He listened. Then after some wise counsel from a dear friend, I changed my attitude and praised the Lord who listened to me daily.
I am a week behind in my bible study because I have spent every minuted of my bible study time praying for my daughter.
Last night my daughter and I had a conversation. She said, "No one likes me for who I am, No one really knows me." (she expressed that she meant her family) I denied this passionatly, brushing it off as another episode of drama. "If she thinks this, she really dosen't know ME...I KNOW my children," I told myself. "I know what they like to eat and do." I PRIDE myself on knowing my children.
So again this morning, I took my frustration to God, explaining to Him that He needed to fix my daughter's thinking.
If you know my God you already know what happened.
He did not fix my daughters thinking (that I know of), He fixed mine.
How many times have you watched your daughter skateboard ?( something she is very passionate about)"
He asked me.
"When is the last time you encouraged her in this sport she is in love with?" "Have you even tried to get to know the people she thinks do know her? The ones she believes likes her for who she is?"
I tried to explain to God that skateboarding isn't really a sport, not to mention it is dangerous and she refused to wear the protective gear. I explained that the kids who skate do drugs and smoke. ( freely admitted by my 15 year old. )
I could feel Him smile at me. "
I will take care of the protective part, you take care of getting to know the daughter I gave you."He said.
This Saturday, I am going to the skate park with my daughter. I have offered to buy pizza for her skater friends. I am going to meet her friends who I have held at an arms distance. I am going to get to know who my daughter is so that she can see that I really do like who she is.
P.S She swears to me that she has absolutely no desire to smoke or do drugs,
but I know praying she keeps this attitude won't hurt.
My God is Good, God is my LIFE, My Life is good.