Mother of Four?

Am I still a mom of four, when one so willingly walked out of our lives and acts as if we never existed?

To her, it is as if we are dead or that the last eight years of her life were but a moment. She acts as though Princess and Sonshine were just mere acquaintances instead of a brother and sister who adored her. We are going on 6 months since they have heard from or seen her and yet there is not one day that passes that they don't pray for her or talk about her. We refuse to erase her from our lives the way she has so easily erased us from hers.


How does a person do that? Is there anything inside the body shell she walks around in? A heart, a brain, a nerve? What went wrong?


In a competition, we are equal, her biological mom and I. I may even have a bit more. Lisa had Angel for the first 6 years of her life, then Angel live with my dad and his wife, (her bio grandma) for 6 months. She was then returned to Lisa for a couple months before being placed back into foster care for a year. From foster care she came to live with us and has lived with us from age 10 until she walk out on us 97 days before she turned 18 years old. 8 years she was in our home, 8 years she was our beloved daughter ( still is our daughter) EIGHT years.

I win.

I wish it was a competition.

I haven't won. My daughter rejects us, tried to destroy us and I don't even know where to begin to restore our estranged relationship. Now she will have a child, my grandchild, I may never see or hold and that right there BREAKS MY HEART.


Am I still a mother of 4?